Unfuck Your Life - Book Summary, Notes, and Highlights

🚀 First Impressions

The first thought that crossed my mind when I started listening to the audiobook version of "Unfuck Your Life" was that the author, Gary John Bishop, sounds just like Conor McGregor, the famous Irish MMA fighter.

So, if you've ever wanted to hear Conor McGregor give you a 3 hour pep talk, the audiobook version of "Unfuck Your Life" is the next best thing.

What initially drew me to this book was the theme of getting out of your head and into your life. As someone with an outspoken inner voice, I often find myself stuck in thought rather than taking action to move forward.

To help get out of your head, this book provides a collection of personal assertions to help you understand how to flip the switch from thinking to doing.

💡 Actionable Takeaways

• The thoughts in your head are your own and can only unfold their impact on the world if you take action on them.
• Don't let unfulfilled expectations let you down. Accept things for what they are - it frees up your mind.
• Do less of the things that hold you back and more of the things that drive you forward.
• Whenever you promise yourself stuff you don't do, you're growing a relation with yourself as a bullshitter.

✍️ Best Quotes

• "Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself."

• "No man is free who is not a master of himself."

"Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful mind, but great actions speak to all mankind."

📒 Summary

What is Self-talk?

There are two types of talk people engage in every day: talking to others and talking to ourselves.

When we talk to ourselves, there's a strong connection between the things we say and how we feel. This is why the quiet voice in our head telling us we're not good, strong, or successful enough can be very disempowering.

But it goes both ways: positive self-talk can lift you up just as much as negative self-talk can bring you down. Consequently, we should use assertive language when talking to ourselves.

For example, compare the non-assertive "I'm going to be disciplined" with the assertive "I am disciplined". The former is a vague discription on what's to come, whereas the latter is a statement that intervines with your life right now.

This brief introduction on self-talk opens the curtains for the personal assertions that follow below.

I Am Willing

Creating a meaningful change in your life begins with your own willingness. Change comes from actions, actions require effort, and your effort is fueled by your willingness.

You are responsible for claiming your greatness. There is no point in blaming your past, or others, for your fate. Accept your past and move forward, because while you dwell on your past, life goes on.

You need to decide consciously what you are willing and unwilling to do. This builds inner clarity and prevents you from being swayed by things that don't align with your true self.

I Am Wired to Win

Our thoughts constantly steer us towards our goals - even if we aren't fully aware about what they are. For example, when you delay studying for an exam, it might seem like failure. But in a way, you've successfully accomplished an unfavourable goal: avoiding the discomfort of studying.

About 95% of the decisions we make every day are made on autopilot by our subconscious mind. If your subconscious actions don't align with the goals you've set consciously, you'll get results that don't match what you say you want.

Sometimes, it's necessary to switch off the autopilot to take control of your life. This will let you make concious decisions that are aligned with your true goals.

I Got This

The problems that we experience in one area of life often spill over into others. For example, a problem at work can affect the relationship you have with your partner.

But we all have problems in life that we have to navigate through. So take a moment and put them into perspective. Chances are, your problems aren't as severe as the daily struggles of someone living at the poverty line.

Social media makes it especially easy to feel like your problems are weighing you down making you fall behind. Remember that what you see are other people's highlight reels, while only you experience your own behind-the-scenes.

I Embrace the Uncertainty

As humans, we have the tendency to seek certainty, predictable outcomes, and safety. But the instinct to 'settle' and avoid uncertainty limits your ability to grow.

Taking risks - like asking someone out, asking for a raise, or sending a job application - isn't lethal. In fact, these actions come with asymmetric upside: the worst-case scenario is usually mild discomfort or rejection, while the best-case scenario can change your life.

Ironically, the comfort of avoiding uncertainty often turns into a deeper discomfort — the regret of missed opportunities and the weight of "what if". So take the risks worth taking. Focus on what you can control, and learn to embrace what you can’t.

I Am Not My Thoughts; I Am What I Do.

Thoughts do not define who you are. They are your own and can only unfold their impact on the world if you take action on them. You are what you do, not what you think.

Most people let their internal condition weigh heavy on their decisions. When unmotivated, most people skip the planned workout. On the contrary, great performers understand that what they think doesn't have to match what they do.

Do what you have to do, not what you feel like doing.

I Am Relentless

Often, the greater the discomfort, the greater the difficulty, the greater the sense of personal accomplishment that follows. In the process of pursuing your goals, there will be a lot of distractions. So be relentless and use that momentum to move forward no matter what.

I Expect Nothing and Accept Everything

The gap between expectation and reality is correlated with the level of happiness. Most people will feel disappointed when the reality falls short of their expectation.

Accepting things for what they are, doesn't mean you stop caring or striving. It means you stop being emotionally dependant on the outcomes you can't fully control. You accept things as they are, not as you wish they were and by doing so, you free up your mind.

📝 Final Thoughts

Picture this, you're on your deathbed, with a few moments left to live before it's over. I'm an atheist, so according to me, once it's done, it's done. And in that moment, you think about all the things you where going to do but didn't. How would you feel?

More importantly, what would you give to go back to the moment you're living right now?

In the end, I don't think I'll be disappointed in achievements that I didn't accomplish. I'll more likely regret not having tried hard enough and given the game my best shot.

Trying hard enough means following though on the plan. Every time you promise yourself stuff you don't do, you're growing a relation with yourself as a bullshitter.

Hey, I'm Max.

I'm an Athlete turned Finance Ph.D., Engineer, and Corporate Consultant.